Listening When the Body Speaks: IFS For Chronic Pain

In this blog post, I’ll be exploring how pain affects not just the body, but the mind and heart too, and how you can use Internal Family Systems (IFS) to find more ease, understanding, and relief from pain.

Living With Chronic Pain

Living with chronic pain can feel like being trapped inside a body that isn’t yours. Not only can the pain itself become excruciating, but so can the feeling of being unable to escape it, or avoid it. You may have more questions than answers when it comes to why the pain exists in the first place, or you may know exactly why, but that doesn’t make it any easier to bear. Whatever the source of your pain, it’s completely understandable to feel exhausted, frustrated, or even betrayed by your own body.

Is My Pain Psychosomatic?

When there is no clear medical or physical cause for your pain, you may be told that your pain is “psychosomatic” or even “all in your head”. These kinds of statements can leave you feeling dismissed and shamed, as if you could just “think the pain away” and be cured. So many who experience chronic pain also experience their pain not being taken seriously, or not believed at all. This only adds insult to injury.

Women in particular have experienced this for decades. Very real, and oftentimes debilitating conditions have been dismissed as “women’s issues”, or written off as overreactions, emotional instability, or sensitivity.

And yet, you know your own body. Even if you doubt yourself at times (and no wonder, especially if you’ve experienced medical gaslighting), you know that something isn’t right. The pain you’re feeling is very real.

Is Pain Just Physical?

Pain is often seen as purely physical: something that happens in your body; your muscles, nerves, or organs. And while that’s absolutely true, it's only part of the story.

Stress, trauma, and emotional overwhelm can significantly influence the way we experience pain. This is where the word psychosomatic comes in, though it’s often misused, or misunderstood. At its root, it simply means that the body (soma) and mind (psyche) are connected; our physical experiences and our mental experiences are linked.

We live in a society that has separated the body from the mind, but the reality is that our emotional and physical experiences are intertwined. Your mind and body are in constant, subconscious communication, and they interact in many complicated and layered ways.

So where does that leave you?

You may have tried many different approaches already, and still find nothing helps, so it makes sense if there are parts of you that feel hopeless, or like trying anything is pointless. And yet, if you’re reading this, there is probably a part of you that is still looking for some relief.

That’s where Internal Family Systems (IFS) may be able to offer you something different.

What Is Internal Family Systems (IFS) and How Can It Help With Chronic Pain?

Internal Family Systems is a gentle, non-pathologising approach that views the mind as made up of different “parts”. Some of these parts may carry pain (emotional and/or physical), some try to manage it or stop the pain from being felt, and some try to protect you from feeling overwhelmed by the pain, or even feeling it in the first place. You can read more about the basics of the IFS model here.

When it comes to chronic or recurring pain, you may recognise:

• A part that criticises you or pushes you to keep going, even when you’re hurting

• A part that is anxious about the pain starting, or how bad it might get

• A part that feels guilty for cancelling plans or not being able to “keep up”

• A part that feels grief for the life you used to have, or for what it wishes you could have now

• A part that feels angry, resentful, or betrayed by your own body

  
  

Sometimes, pain can be your body’s attempt at getting your attention. What may begin as a whisper (a little niggle here and there) can become louder and louder over time, the longer it is left unaddressed. Pain can become worse and worse as a part of you desperately tries to communicate something important, or to try to get a need met. In my experience the need can often be for more rest, or for an emotional experience to be addressed, but it can be many different things, and the only way to find out is to explore it directly by getting to know the parts involved.

IFS is a gentle way to get to know these parts, rather than pushing them away. It can help you to understand them, care for them, and try to find ways to give them what they really need. It also helps you to connect with what IFS calls the Self, the calm, curious, compassionate energy we all have inside.

How IFS Can Help You Navigate Pain

IFS doesn’t promise to make the pain disappear or cure you of a chronic condition (and I’d always be wary of anything that makes promises like that!) But it can offer you:

• A way to meet pain with curiosity instead of fear

• Practical tools to help the parts of you that are activated by pain

• Space to witness and soothe the emotional impact of living with pain

• A more compassionate relationship with your body

• More spaciousness and ease around pain, even if it doesn’t disappear completely

  
  

In my work with women navigating everything from menstrual cramps, to repetitive injuries, to migraines, to unexplained chronic pain, I’ve seen how powerful this work can be. It’s not about ignoring or denying the medical and physical reality, but about adding support that is so needed. And in some cases, it absolutely does make a difference to pain levels, duration, or frequency- offering real, tangible relief and change.

IFS Journaling Prompts to Explore Your Experience of Pain

If you’d like to begin exploring your relationship with pain and the parts of you involved, journaling can be a great first step.

If you can, set aside some time and space where you won’t be disturbed. Perhaps light a candle, or take a few deep breaths to help you settle in to the space.

When you’re ready, take a moment to tune into your body and see what you notice, you might be aware of pain or other sensations, or you may notice parts that want to avoid, distract, or numb you.

You can use the following as prompts:

• When I bring awareness to my body today, I notice…

• If my pain had a voice, what might it be trying to say?

• Which parts of me struggle the most with this pain, and what do they want me to know?

• What thoughts or beliefs are parts of me holding about this?

• What might these parts need from me right now?

• What would it feel like to meet these parts with compassion and care, even for just a moment?

An Invitation: Join My Upcoming Workshop

If this resonated with you and you’d like a supportive space to explore more deeply, I’d love to invite you to a special online workshop:

📅 Listening When the Body Speaks: An IFS Approach to Pain

🕖 Tuesday 12th August · 7:00–8:30pm (UK time)

💻 Online · Open to all women

🎟️ £20

→ Click here to book your space

This 90-minute session will offer:

• A gentle introduction to IFS and how it relates to pain

• Creative parts mapping (no art skills needed!)

• Support to connect to the parts of you affected by pain

• A safe, nurturing space to connect to others who understand

  
  

You don’t need any prior experience with IFS, just an openness to explore. Come exactly as you are.

A Note About the New World Women Collective

This workshop is hosted in collaboration with the New World Women Collective, a growing online membership for women exploring cyclical living, and holistic wellbeing.

If you'd like to attend Listening When the Body Speaks and get access to a beautiful library of monthly offerings, including live yoga classes, menstrual cycle education, community events, and other expert-led workshops, you can join the membership for just £8.99/month!

It’s a lovely, low-cost way to access this workshop and so much more.

If this blog spoke to something inside you, I hope you’ll join us. And if you can’t make it this time, may this be a gentle reminder to treat your body and mind with as much tenderness as you can, and to find new ways to listen to what your body may be communicating with you.

Take good care,

Sophie x